Sweeping Out Cobwebs

It's been a busy couple weeks, I haven't been at the computer that much since my last post.  I guess part of having a big family is being a little socially obligated to attend functions and birthday parties and get-togethers and all those other things we've been doing lately.  It's draining, honestly.  The point is that I'm back (for a little while) we're going to be spending next week in Grants Pass.  I am bringing the laptop and hopefully I'll have a few minutes to get some work done.

Chapter seven is still moving at a pace relative to glaciers or, uhm, a slug made of molasses?  I'm hoping that today will be my last installment on it and then it'll be done.  I've been tempted a few times to post my work here, but I'm seriously considering trying to get a publishing contract for this novel--putting any part of it on my blog would mean I'd have to take it down upon publication.  I'm not knocking it, it's worked for other indie authors, but it does make a publisher less likely to take you on.

I really wish I had some counseling on this.  I guess that's the part that sucks about being the only author you know.  I guess that's not true, I know a couple others but they haven't been able to help.  Regardless, I'm just going to keep writing.  Worst case scenario is that I spend some money to promote it and put it online--no big deal.  Given what I've read recently, even paper authors struggle with book promotion.

Just Keep Writing

It looks like the advice that I keep reading works.  Pretty much every creative writing source says, "Just keep writing".  Last time was very difficult and it went slow, but I finally found the tiny shred of logic that I needed to move to the next scene.  I'm feeling better about this chapter now and I have to remember that the words can be horrible, just so long as they're on the page.  I can't revise it if I never write it in the first place.

I've taken the last few days off to generate some content for a role-playing game.  My friend is coming down from Grant's Pass next week and he loves to play Advanced Dungeons & Dragons.  I was really surprised at how easily everything came together on this game.  I won't dribble on with the details, but consequently I'm behind schedule for writer's night tonight.  I'm hoping that someone else will have something to read but I'm doubting it.  I'm thinking that even if there is nothing to read, the guys should still come over anyway.  Hang out time at the new house is a lot of fun.

Unfortunately I have come to a grim decision that I'm not proud of.  I think I may add advertising to my blog.  I know, I hate it too.  But money is tight this summer and I was hoping my epublishing would actually make me some money.  As I've said before, it's not doing that.  I've been trying to get my ebook listed at Amazon for free but they're resistant.  I actually had a bizarre dream about epublishing last night that I guess summarized how I'm feeling about it.  In the dream, I ran into an old friend and told them about my book.  They in turn told me about their ebook that they had written a few years ago and forgotten about.  But of course, they're book sold and made them a lot of money whereas my book did not.  I guess the whole thing feels like getting picked last for soccer again.

Seven is not my Lucky Number

For some reason, I'm really struggling with this chapter of my novel.  It's like every line is another tooth that I'm forced to pull from a shark's mouth.  The shark is not under anesthesia.  I've been reading a few "How to Write Fiction" books lately and, although I've been getting a lot of good insight, I wish I could speak with a person.  A fellow novelist who's been there and knows what to do in my situation.  What's frustrating for me about this novel is that I feel this little insignificant section that would be cut from a screenplay is what's holding me up.  If I can just power through this conversation I can get one step closer to the fun action-packed scenes that I want to write.

Really what's holding me up is a tiny little gap in logic.  I have my main character talking with a police officer who was on his way to investigate a strange cabin.  He thinks this cabin (or its owner) is somehow related to the mass and ongoing disappearances in the small town.  The gap in logic however, is that I have no idea what has tipped him off to get this information.  Again, the movie would cut right through this part.  No one care's how he knows.  But I care.  I want an unbroken chain of logical events that lead into appropriate scenes that tell the story.  I'm not Michael fucking Bay.  The third act is just one giant explosion.  SKADOOOOOOSH!  KAPLOW!

Perfect.  That tells the story.

It is a Sunday

I finished my short story retelling of Beowulf and presented it to the group on Thursday.  Everyone responded to it positively, which was nice.  I'm still not really sure what I'm going to do with this short story--if anything.  It's too short to sell online by itself and it's probably too long to sell to most literary magazines.  A short story compilation is still a possibility, but launching an ebook the right way is expensive--I hate that by the way.  For now I'm just going to let it collect dust on my hard drive like most of my work.  I'm supposed to be returning to do work on Lost Lamb today, but as you could probably guess, I'm procrastinating.

I've begun to worry about its pacing and level of drama and excitement.  It's been nagging at me a little while now.  Loki has been reading over the chapters that he missed at group, and even though he's used more words than this, he thinks they're boring.  I know that he's not as much of a reader of fiction as I am--he's more of a movie and video game guy--and he probably expects a faster pace with more action and drama.  I've mentioned the fact that novels are a longer piece and so the points of high excitement need to be spaced out, but I keep wondering if he's right.  I wish I could be someone else who has no forethought or expectations and read the chapters so far.  Then I could ask myself what I think.

Trying to Get Some Work Done

I shouldn't have let that review get to me.  People are going to think what they want, it's no big deal.  Part of the whole reason I did epublishing was to let people see my work.  It's out there now.  Some people won't like it or get it.  I need to accept that.

I'm moving on and continuing to work on my craft.  I had a conversation with a friend on fourth of July about my writing, about my experience so far with self publishing.  My friend said that maybe my writing just isn't where it should be yet and I really disagree.  I don't mean to use someone else's  work as a ruler to judge my own, but I've looked at a lot of novels.  Many of them in the urban fantasy genre--and I really think this book could sell.  Maybe not a whole lot, not a blow away success, but it would be cool to reach a few people.  I remember when I was a kid looking for cool sci-fi or fantasy books, and when I finally found that one that I liked, it really meant a lot to me.  I want to give that to someone.

I'm thinking about looking at Bear Wolf again today, my sci-fi retelling of Beowulf.  I'm really having a hell of a time with it.  I guess it's because I feel like setting out to retell an existing story limits my creativity a little.  Not much mind you, I'm trying to focus on creating original fiction rather telling some other person's story.  Just trying to throw in some subtle nods to the myth.  Hopefully nothing that will beat you over the head with the premise.  If that doesn't pan out, I'll head over to my Lost Lamb chapter.  I need to get some writing done today.

Now I Want a Cup of Tea

I got my first review from someone I don't know yesterday.  I was hoping for some kind of actual review, some analysis of my work by someone who'd read it--no such luck.  It was a "not my cup of tea" review--didn't even leave a star rating.  I'm really irritated by this, but the issue with this particular reader was that it was a sci-fi story and they don't like that genre.  Of course, if they had taken the time to read the description on the book's page, or the genre tags that label it "cyberpunk" there would have been less confusion.  It seems reasonable to expect a potential reader of fiction to fucking READ the book's description.

Regardless, I made some changes to how the book is labeled (making the primary tag cyberpunk and the secondary hard-boiled detective).  I also made some quick changes to the short description to reflect the science fiction setting.

The more experience I have with this internet publishing, the more I become convinced it's not for me.  I hate having to hang on every little movement of the book, which I spent countless hours writing and polishing, just to find out that people still aren't reading it.  Honestly, it might as well still be sitting in the dark recesses of my hard drive, never to see the light of day.  It doesn't make much difference.

I guess now I should focus on creating something full-length and getting an agent/publisher.  The ups and downs of epublishing are killing me.  Just can't take it.

Varnet Blues Has a Cover

In the last week that I've made Bad For Business free, the downloads have spiked significantly.  I mean sure, that's a given--people like free things.  Somewhere in there I'm hoping to have made a couple of fans.  Marketing myself is a pain in the ass and I don't like it.  I'd rather be spending all this extra time that I navigate this sea of irritation doing something that comes easily to me--writing.  I look forward to one day having a publishing contract and therefore lackeys that do this crap for me.  I don't even care that I would be selling the rights of my fiction to them--it would be worth it.

Until that magical day happens I will (hopefully) continue to produce fiction in the Cyber Detective series and post it on Smashwords and Amazon.  The next installment will be called Varnet Blues and take place on a Mars colony.  I took a picture that my friend Loki made for me a while ago, he called it a cyberpunk concept cover, and I resized it and added the text.  Working with artists is also a pain in the ass.  I would happily give up control of the cover to let someone else handle those people.

Look for this installment in the Cyber Detective series when it's released...sometime that is not right now.  Keep your browser tuned to this blog for more info as it develops.  I will be posting an abstract for this story soon.